Becoming Tatiyana

First and foremost, I’d like to share my gratitude. I thought I would create this blog to just talk to myself until I was ready to speak to others and although I set it to public, I didn’t think I would get any interactions this quickly. Thank you for all the support, it has motivated me more than you all know. That being said, here is my motivation.

Why did I decide to start blogging? Because I love to write, my thoughts are hard to organize, writing helps put my thoughts in order, it helps me understand what I am feeling, in a world otherwise filled with confusion and uncertainty. Why did I choose to make this a public page? Because everyone deserves to feel like they are not alone. As much as we may feel that we are, we aren’t. Too many times have people felt crazy for living situations that we are all far too familiar with, I want to embrace our hardships, share it and stop letting it control me. I define who I am.

Growing up, I knew I wanted to work with children, at risk children to be exact. All throughout High School, my friends would call me “Mama T” a nickname I took to heart, it was given to me because I was somewhat of a sounding board for my friends, they knew I was always there to listen, to support, far from a yes man but definitely their biggest fans. As a teenager, I myself experienced a lot of trauma and for the most part, I navigated this by myself. Of course I had my support system, most, if not all of whom did not know what I was experiencing on a daily basis. This is not a reflection of the people I was surrounded with but more so a reflection of what I was and what I am trying to unlearn. Once upon a time, I would have been described as an extrovert or an open book but I am here to tell you that when it truly mattered, this was far from the truth. I internalized and the book was closed with a lock and key. With all this being said, I chose my line of work – Specialized Educator for at risk youth – to be the person for these kids that I never allowed anyone to be for me. I have found true fulfilment in this line of work, what this blog will do for me is help me find that same sense of fulfilment in my personal life. I will find my voice.