Becoming Tatiyana

How many times have you found yourself saying “this isn’t fair” or asking “why me/him/her?” The truth is, no one will ever know why life does what it does. It is all apart of the mystery process known as living.

2025 has been an extremely challenging year for me, this year peaked my curiosity about life’s mysteries, I continuously found myself asking that question and making that statement and heres why;

1- At 28 years old I was forced into the leadership role in my household. Not because there was a death in the family, but because I was the only one able to deal with the realities of everything that was going on.

2-When all was said and done, no one was available to support me once the storm had passed and I finally had the opportunity to come out of fight or flight mode.

It’s only natural that I start to question things. I started to question my family, my friends, my life, myself. To be completely honest, I am still questioning a lot, still trying to figure it all out and believe it or not that is the hardest part about the whole process.

Figuring this out is harder than dealing with the verbal and physical abuse I dealt with this year.

Figuring this out is harder than dealing with the sleepness nights I had this year. Worrying about my safety in my home.

Figuring this out is harder than having to put a smile on my face everyday and be strong for all the people around me because if I wasn’t okay, no one would be okay.

My take away as of right now? Life’s mystery, fucking sucks.